A Little Something About Me

Growing up I was your typical tomboy. What I mean by that is that I loved playing sports, hated Barbie dolls and never once dreamed about getting married or having kids. Josh and I met while I was in college and even then I still wasn't thinking much about us starting a family. I figured, sure we would have kids eventually, but it wasn't something I really thought about.

At some point before we got engaged I had a total change of heart. I started to become very excited about the prospect of us having children. After we got married we decided that we would use NFP to postpone pregnancy for a while. Looking back, I regret this decision. I feel that our reasoning was selfish and that we were not using NFP the way the Church teaches.

We began to realize that no matter what God was in charge of our lives, and he would ultimately decide if and when we would have children. So we decided to stop using NFP to postpone pregnancy and became open to starting a family whenever He saw fit. About a year later I started to become worried that maybe something wasn't right. I was concerned that we may have some medical issues and that was the reason why I wasn't pregnant yet. My amazingly faithful husband, while realizing that health issues could be the cause, constantly reminded me that God was ultimately in charge of our lives. And while we both agree that God can create miracles out of nothing, we decided that we should look into the problem.

So far our medical history is very short. We are just beginning the journey into fertility treatments and are looking for answers. About two months ago I had blood tests run. My doctor said they came back positive and seemed to indicate that I ovulated. Same thing for my hubby. The doctor said that his SA showed great numbers. Granted I'm not well versed in this type of thing, so I'm not sure what all he tested for and exactly how my test could show that I ovulated.

In general, I typically have pretty regular 30 day cycles. I tend to have some intense cramps on day 1 and can sometimes feel mild pain during ovulation. Maybe once a year I will have a cycle that lasts closer to 40 days, but other than that, I pretty much run like clockwork.

According to my doctor, the next step is for me to have an exploratory laparoscopy to check everything out and see if he finds any Endo or other issues that could be causing us problems. At this point, I really don't know what I should do. In my mind, going from "all your tests came back great" to "you need to have surgery" seemed like a big step. Plus I'm worried that I could be having surgery and don't really need to. So I'm pretty confused as to where we should go from here.